True liberation

 Narcissists love conflicts. They need to make their lives interesting through conflicts and can be the primary instigators of disorientation, chaos, and self doubts in others while they pretend that they are completely out of it. The drama that follows when truth about this instigation enabling is pointed at them, and their lack of taking responsibility would put the stage on shame to begin with. 

To be in the center at the heat of the moment and just projecting that it is the others fault is something they become masters at doing and can miss this terribly when they are neglected when people around them start understanding this and keep away from contact, or maintain only minimal conversations with them no matter what and even if they are family.

The sense of devaluation that they can bring upon the truth knowers and speakers is an act of vengeance which doesn't stop after one episode of their backlash but is a repeated act of no mercy and pure malice in their every word and deed - I have experienced this firsthand from my mother-in-law who is a covert narcissist and having been on the receiving end from my mother, a vulnerable narcissist, it just became some sort of readapting in an all new way but with their same intent of being extremely self absorbed, sympathy seeking, victimhood enabling, and blame shifting centric layers that are common between both.

The concept of self hood is everything related to ego and everything about their ego at the most and they know no other truth other than this - in a sense they are oblivious and they want to be oblivious to anything or anyone's egos or feelings or others sensitivities.

Narcissists are the opposite to being self destructive but those around them, be it their family, friends, coworkers etc can function better if they maintain healthy distance from them and not try to fix them, or be empathetic towards them, or share vulnerably any personal details with them - they seem to be like parasites who can feed off others empathy and sympathy and use anything from others, even their spirit to keep empowering themselves and drain life energies off others.

Knowing this truth about them and working on myself by strengthening my boundaries, my inner resilience, faith in my consciousness and clarity, and above all surrender to spiritual energies have been a learning arc for me, and I am thankful to such mothers for helping me directly or indirectly and by being their narcissistic selves, they have in a way given me an important life lesson and the value of true self hood which is independent of their influences. I don't need to validate my authenticity based on the devaluations that I so believed and thought that I was such a reduced version of who I thought I was, but even this yardstick for self growth is not worth it and that feels truly liberating for me.