Lizards, one big and small, run around my house playing hide and seek. They seem to find a way out of their hiding whether garlic is placed in every nook and corner or clove is packed in pouches to block their entry into my house which is through the kitchen mostly. They seem to have gotten omnipresent as they break the barriers of staying shut within the gaps of cupboards or hiding under their safe space, the fridge.
They have become a familiar sight now and as much as my husband even brooms them off in a dusty cloth with the lizard underneath, they seem to find their way back to our home.
I was in one of those days where it feels like a dark cloud is hovering over my head and things seem clueless and distant and I felt sad for myself. Just felt like eating something off the kitchen racks, some snacks, to just numb my sadness for a while and I found the mother one (the other seems to be small and maybe her kid) ready to come running into the hall from the kitchen when it suddenly stopped in its tracks and ran right under the washing machine which is next to the fridge - I wished for a second that I too could tuck in in some place of hiding like a cave of sorts and not come out until the coast is clear. It felt strangely reassuring that I was not as lonely as I thought I was and there's some living being that's quite happy being in her skin, unlike me who feels just mood swinging away to glory and more mind wavering for the time being than all the running and hiding that I see around me.
I also have started to notice the neem tree just outside of my kitchen window which just blows away her leaves swaying from one side to the other without any care in the world - I guess nature attracts all living beings to want to be like her - carefree, organic, and joyous being herself and the tree is one such symbol of that aspect. The squirrel that rests on the neem tree trunk and quick to sprint to the other neighbouring trees feels like pause and fast forward in action in every single frame. How natural they all seem just being themselves and I sometimes get caught up in what am I supposed to be in order to be who I am...I see a small yellow butterfly too which is almost a daily sight and seeing the small wings soar so high with the sudden bursts of wind is a daily act of courage and joy from this beauty. Just go higher and flow with the breeze is all that the butterfly cares about.
Being a human feels so complicated and difficult at times and these examples of simply living each day that these animals, insects display is a simple and mindful lesson to me to not take one aspect of my emotions too seriously - it's okay to feel sad in the middle of a normal sounding day, it's okay to not be sure if I am feeling at home with all my brokenness and realizations, and it's okay to just simply release the tears and let go the heaviness with some random triggers that sometimes pull me down - Not getting caught up in them is important and learning to be as light and carefree as these beings of different sizes and shapes is a learning for me in a way.
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