We are here on earth for a short while. Our learnings are the real deal and not the drama we think we need in order to bypass the truths within us. Do we need this body in order to remember how hard this journey has been so far? I bet so many of us would agree that others too need to be reminded that we had tough lives and that it's our "responsibility" to make others aware of it. And this is where our loop of drama and stagnation starts - a cocoon of sorts protected by our ego in order to justify that this loop is our belief system and the self righteousness is means to stay stuck in it.
All the struggles that make us grow up in life are needed but if we are going to be "me, my pain" all the time, then we are bound to get stuck and even bored with having come all the way despite our hardships. Do we think to release these knots so that we can lighten up and create a newer space for growing or outgrowing our old beliefs? What old patterns collapse while our physical lives exist is in fact real manure to help our newer, evolved and updated modes of thought patterns to arise and navigate through our lives from a different perspective.
I thought being devalued by my mother was the only means to coexist with my mother as she is justified to throw her criticisms and anger out at me for being too sensitive in health. I let her walk all over my space hampering my space for individual growth. That amount of trespassing is injurious to one's emotional and mental health and there's no better way out than honoring and protecting my space for what it is.
Emotional abuse is not okay. Trespassing another's space is not okay and calling it protection is completely not okay. I needed protection from overprotection and giving up of my self confidence, self worth and believing in self doubts so much so as if I need that in order to adapt to my mother's criticisms.
You are enough by yourself. You don't need any validation of any kind from others to determine your self worth. My actual healing doesn't come from medicines, doctor visits, or regular checkups, but healthy, wholesome self belief that I am alright despite whatever comes my way and I am responsible for being alive and present to challenges in whatever shape or form that maybe. It's not over yet fully until you give up and also when life shuts down on you on your time of death. But until then life exists not just as a routine and compulsive habits to keep boredom at bay, but understanding through various seasons of time that we can give ourselves second chances for real and lasting change. And our ability to be kind through our efforts, falls, picking ourselves up slowly and learning to ask for help wherever needed are some means to manifest the second chances time and again.
And if you treat your life as seen through the eyes of others, then you won't be able to meet yourself in the eye. Your vision, your opinion, your beliefs, your need for changes, they all matter. You are worth it.
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