Value your life the self worth way

 We are here on earth for a short while. Our learnings are the real deal and not the drama we think we need in order to bypass the truths within us. Do we need this body in order to remember how hard this journey has been so far? I bet so many of us would agree that others too need to be reminded that we had tough lives and that it's our "responsibility" to make others aware of it. And this is where our loop of drama and stagnation starts -  a cocoon of sorts protected by our ego in order to justify that this loop is our belief system and the self righteousness is means to stay stuck in it. 

All the struggles that make us grow up in life are needed but if we are going to be "me, my pain" all the time, then we are bound to get stuck and even bored with having come all the way despite our hardships. Do we think to release these knots so that we can lighten up and create a newer space for growing or outgrowing our old beliefs? What old patterns collapse while our physical lives exist is in fact real manure to help our newer, evolved and updated modes of thought patterns to arise and navigate through our lives from a different perspective. 

I thought being devalued by my mother was the only means to coexist with my mother as she is justified to throw her criticisms and anger out at me for being too sensitive in health. I let her walk all over my space hampering my space for individual growth. That amount of trespassing is injurious to one's emotional and mental health and there's no better way out than honoring and protecting my space for what it is. 

Emotional abuse is not okay. Trespassing another's space is not okay and calling it protection is completely not okay. I needed protection from overprotection and giving up of my self confidence, self worth and believing in self doubts so much so as if I need that in order to adapt to my mother's criticisms. 

You are enough by yourself. You don't need any validation of any kind from others to determine your self worth. My actual healing doesn't come from medicines, doctor visits, or regular checkups, but healthy, wholesome self belief that I am alright despite whatever comes my way and I am responsible for being alive and present to challenges in whatever shape or form that maybe. It's not over yet fully until you give up and also when life shuts down on you on your time of death. But until then life exists not just as a routine and compulsive habits to keep boredom at bay, but understanding through various seasons of time that we can give ourselves second chances for real and lasting change. And our ability to be kind through our efforts, falls, picking ourselves up slowly and learning to ask for help wherever needed are some means to manifest the second chances time and again. 

And if you treat your life as seen through the eyes of others, then you won't be able to meet yourself in the eye. Your vision, your opinion, your beliefs, your need for changes, they all matter. You are worth it.

Evolving Humans

 It's really important to acknowledge how far you have come post your traumatic phase so that you can acknowledge for yourself what's real at present and what's the past and not allow the past to intrude and have a say on your life now. It's a continuity of learning - your past, present, and future - it's just for linear understanding and boxing in our life experiences in terms of ego that we tend to want to get stuck with the victim mode and empower it with self pity and egoistically proclaim that our struggles during trauma is all there is.

It's the constant learning that counts and not how long we get stuck to our past. Because the past gets defined to our willing and liking in a narrative which suits our image and personality and projection on others as our truths, which maybe so, but reliving and criticizing others and devaluing others struggles or their traumas is not a takeaway to learn to grow to be a better human but an adapting to staying rigid and self righteous.

My learning is that I haven't acknowledged how far I have come in life and have played small and thought small about my efforts and staying "humble." Self confidence does not just appear because you read books or gain information from outside but the real efforts you take to know yourself and be kind and considerate while being at it. Because no one is perfect and life is simply life, not some "perfect" version of how we want to see it and keep complaining on how it isn't. Having realistic expectations from your life is key and this is an another real takeaway for me owing to the impatience I had harbored for long on my sensitive body, health, and conflicted mind and simply thought that the more I tolerate others criticisms on me and suppress my hurts, the more easier it is for me to process my life which was anything but that. 

I need to set aside time for my health, for processing my feelings, for acknowledging my hurts and trauma, and also to release them as and when I will for to work through them and free myself off past set definitions and inner criticizing narratives which keeps me in the loop as a habit. 

Trusting yourself with an open heart is a beautiful habit. Giving yourself second chances to learn from your mistakes, your blocks, and releasing the rigidities that you had walled them in habitually as hardened, suppressed feelings and emotions adds energy and path to your life flow. 

Because the lessons we take home under our wings is how far we will get to go in the aftermath of our physical, breathing lives. This karmic mileage is the predecessor for our upcoming life experiences in whatever shape or form that be. Our past karmas in previous births are why we are here, but the choices, decisions, and thought process behind why we do and become what we become in this current stream of life determines if we could get to shift gears and steer a different course of life experiences, and need not wait on our physical death in order to get to nudge towards holistic change for our higher good (in whatever form or shape that is).

The putting our efforts backed up by good intentions is a huge green flag in order to do good by ourselves and irrespective of previous births and the consequences of the current one into the next, we can know only so much and do so much. And so, let's try our best to live our lives to the fullest and be in sync with our true essence as a human being irrespective of where we come from and what color, race, sex, religion and so on that may define us but not limit our scope as evolving humans.