Safety Pins

 The kid hidden in the dim space in the garage was looking for safety -  safety from her outer world, controlling voices, and expectations to having to fit in to her family. All these didn't feel safe. At all. It was safe when she could hear her emotions but that felt like searching for a safety pin in the dim garage - there but not visible, can be felt but hidden somewhere, and just another dusted under the carpet.

Trusting herself because of not being in touch with her emotions felt like she was a stranger to her world, her mind, her desires, her goals and just plain disconnected with her truths. Her emotions were the needle in the haystack for sure and something that could hold her together, no matter how varied her emotions, in oneness with her life.

Compassion without self love is a garment that's loose all over the edges and simply won't fit the person. Mindful compassion is made to fit and creates the flow and the shape that is distinct to the person's psyche. All along the kid grew in dresses bigger than her fit and assumed that that was enough as long as it didn't restrict her movements. Little did she know that bigger sizes didn't make her more mature and that she can't fit in with other people's expectations for being something or someone to them, even if she tries to stretch farther than what's truly comfortable to her in order to wear what others want as if it were her own.

She understood gradually that the attitude she chose to embody was her authentic fit and that it can change from time to time. What's not her or hers she would be shed anyway. 

Her life lessons were like the colorful pins that come in varied sizes and shapes which don't limit the garment in any way, but help create a distinct flow and pattern in a seamless way.

Life is a trial room and not a dim garage space to hide your real self. You can always know how you respond to your emotions when you listen to them, see them, and wear them if you feel they are true to you. Don't shrink yourself in order to fit in with others emotional manipulations and control and don't settle for others exaggerated emotional dramas which come off your shoulders like rags -  when it's not yours to wear, no matter how loose the fit, don't try to snuggle your way in to fake assure yourself that it's all okay.

Embrace your whole personality - your body, your mind, your emotions and your expectations, everything put together as one because they all come together for your one and only one lifetime as of today.