Post marriage, daughters become daughter-in-laws or 'daughter like' members of an acquired family. And it does not stop at that. They try to win appreciation from the husband's parents and assume, as if in an illusion, that they are the chosen ones for this new family-the saviours, (a job thrust upon daughter-in-laws) of family pride and salvagers of wounded egos and hurt feelings of those she is made to believe she is ritually/dutifully married to, as all these and more are part of family bureaucracy and tradition of marriages as a whole.
Their path in their chosen life gets altered to meet the curves of expectations that are a mountain a minute and a mole hill the next. And this becomes a routine of a living disguised in the feel good adjectives 'sacrificing', 'understanding' and whatever familial terms that end with 'ing'- a token of appreciation for the adjust'ing' daughter in her different family.
I caught a glimpse of a calf trying to find her way home in the busy sounding traffic. She was given new direction, every time she decided to find her own road to safety. The vehicles on either side made matters worse as she finally stopped short outside of a vegetable mandi, chewing on the dried plantain leaves before being shooed back to the road. A calf caught in the headlights and so very caught up that her fears have drowned in that confusing noise.
Strangely enough, I could relate with the plight of the calf while taking my evening walk home. She seemed out of place but not out of context. The only difference was I tried acting courageous whenever I felt lost and was even more confused when I tried being their daughter. This truth unto myself has made the intensity in this overwhelmingly warm relationship less stifling and my place as a daughter-in-law in my
(not anymore) new family that much natural. Being oneself is not rocket science. And marriage is not mechanical science either.
Our duties are not iron clad uniforms that rust with age-while in them, we defend or attack only at our own fears. Get out of them... Stay happy with yourself and unassumingly committed to those you've widened your hearts for. Set yourself free. They deserve your love too.
Their path in their chosen life gets altered to meet the curves of expectations that are a mountain a minute and a mole hill the next. And this becomes a routine of a living disguised in the feel good adjectives 'sacrificing', 'understanding' and whatever familial terms that end with 'ing'- a token of appreciation for the adjust'ing' daughter in her different family.
I caught a glimpse of a calf trying to find her way home in the busy sounding traffic. She was given new direction, every time she decided to find her own road to safety. The vehicles on either side made matters worse as she finally stopped short outside of a vegetable mandi, chewing on the dried plantain leaves before being shooed back to the road. A calf caught in the headlights and so very caught up that her fears have drowned in that confusing noise.
Strangely enough, I could relate with the plight of the calf while taking my evening walk home. She seemed out of place but not out of context. The only difference was I tried acting courageous whenever I felt lost and was even more confused when I tried being their daughter. This truth unto myself has made the intensity in this overwhelmingly warm relationship less stifling and my place as a daughter-in-law in my
(not anymore) new family that much natural. Being oneself is not rocket science. And marriage is not mechanical science either.
Our duties are not iron clad uniforms that rust with age-while in them, we defend or attack only at our own fears. Get out of them... Stay happy with yourself and unassumingly committed to those you've widened your hearts for. Set yourself free. They deserve your love too.
