With the dentist...

I had been "window shopping" for a dentist who would do the job for me and still not get on my nerves...The session began with a formal introduction, an oral precis of dental prelude and the much dreaded hippo-open view of my (un)intact tooth from the lot that needed the treatment. The dentist lens view of the fractured, half-broken tooth did not put a smile on my lips actually...but the oral drill that a ceramic this and a steel that by the dentist did not clamp shut my mind from thinking of an unexpected cost that promised to chew the pain away. The only ceramic I knew and understood were the grey tiles of my bathroom. And the first dentist who looked fresh from college, married young and a patient artist, drew the skeleton of the tooth, blotted in blue the problem area and promptly placed the type of treatment with its cost on board, cautioning me of "side effects", if I postpone my visit any further. I smiled in relief within that this is not the doctor for me to cheer about...It was not a costly mistake thankfully!! The next in line was a new in neighbourhood dentist,the on-the-toe thinker who quickly bought out the prognosis and smiled more than me. Her fast paced body language and diplomatically smothered criticisms of my dental pattern made me feel more apologetic for myself than thankful for the visit. The constant comebacks of root wrenching pain in the night till mid morning for those hop-jumping dentist find days added its share of agony...until my MIL suggested I give a final try at the clinic that stood right opposite my flat. The dentist there was a quiet doctor who healed after hearing out the problems of her patient(s) than opening the topic for "value" treatments. An extraction was found inevitable and no amount of ceramic would help cement the gaping hole in the mouth. The entire procedure was sensitively processed and enough care taken to rest resulting pain from the pull. The experience at the dentist was worth the pain.3 cheers!!!

Soul food

With Pongal having come and gone, the rising sense of emotional sentiments, festive rituals and soul food from the past came back...a pongal kolam to mark the beginning of thai maasam, a grouped together, hands-on-earth experience-I drew designs that I thought fit well into the expanding mesh of flowers and butterflies, of a sunny chariot, held high by a sun god motif on a high flying soggy flag, run over by kids(or kite runners) running all over the compound early the next morning. The eldest of the(sister) girl bandwagon, Uma, captained this dusk-dawn colourful beginning. The D day starts with a spiritual dose of thiruvempaavai, eye half shut and winter morning mist air biting into our paavadais and skirts, to sing praise of the three eyed Lord Siva. The high praise that beckons the deep in sleep (or ignorant)village belles or paavais to rise and sing like the raag bhupala, the sweet nectar of pure faith, runs hoarse and pitched off the octave by us sisters. The venn pongal (with coconut chutney and gotsu) and sarkarai pongal eaten religiously, hand sticky with pure ghee smells all day divine! As few showed any real inch of interest in flying kites that day evening(from the terrace), the fun was in observing square diamond-cut kites get bound in shard like thread, spool unwinding, the flying kite anchored, higher above the rest.Being happy for your home team or for the neighbours didn't matter.The take off, the let go, the dip, the spin and the cut off its back up, dis joint and flying homeless to reach another territory was all very moving. The kite looked more liberated and lonely than ever. On kanu pongal, we got weary of the rituals by now, waiting for out turn on the early morning hours of pre sunrise to feed the sparrows and crows leftover pongal, diced sugarcane pieces, berry fruit and some other colourful rice, rolled in palms like mini golf balls, spread in linear patterns on a plaintain leaf. I looked around and checked to see if our singing a song to mark the end of the pongal festivities, attracted any attention from morning walkers and joggers.Being on the terrace didn't feel like the top of the world experience always. And another round of kalandha saadam-this time, coconut rice, lemon rice, curd rice, fried papad, sambar, fresh curd and payasam (with vadai at times). We sisters from this joint family grew as we ate, different tastes of home food, year after year and being married to different home cultures, are now far from this inviting flavours of pongal, kanu pongal and the likes. Like the kites we've come far away from our native land, soaring and disjoint and the common spool of roots reduced in people size- soul food, a delectable memory.

One of a kind

My mother and I have been the opposites that sit together as a comfortable yet different pair. To begin with, we are not replicas in physical appearance and stature.Her idea of beauty is boring to me, and mine, merely ideal in her view. Her reality of being the pain bearer, an undoing of only that in me. Absorbing an early grief of being a widow, a single parent, a recreation of emptiness, while I look within myself lacking of any feeling whatsoever for her soulfull of sadness. She does things until they look perfect, while I perfect enough only after trial and errors. She fights for her share of appreciation, while I appreciate if there wont be any. She loves to death any thing/any person she finds deserving, while Iam full of life when Iam set free... We are two states of an island-our journey to the coast are two separate ways. She'll do ok there, in this heaven on earth, while I look at my creator, for an easy way out. She'll continue to lead by example, while I follow her from a distance. She has humbled herself through time as I take pride to be her daughter.

What's cooking??

Multi-culture cooking is happening in many T.V. shows across the country.The getting together of many culinary artisans who blend their art of cooking on a palette of aroma and colours is sure shot appetizing! Iam a hard core vegetarian, but the dressing of the dishes cooked(veg/non-veg), seasoning, blending in of the global flavours, adrenalin pumping pressure tests to bring out the best of the best chefs across the continent is food culture redefined. The passion of the food in the making, the prize money for the numero uno chef amongst competitors and the title to take home are rewarding and feel full for the aspiring cooks. The state of the art culinary techniques and finesse in their applying raises steadily higher and tougher in the ranks of select judges, adding steam to the whole process of becoming the deserved one. This journey, this experience is celebrated in the amateur being prepared to the next best level of master multi-culture chef.

Resting unrest

A sense of restlessness becomes part of a growing, professional mind.The day seems to end a new, tired beginning for the sunshine to follow. I write less and edit more now - quite the opposite to what I used to do! Being mindful of a measured sense of flow of words is what is the working flow all about. I enjoy the dim lighted darkness at the work foodcourt. It seems to be agreeing to the dark clouds hanging in my head owing to ignorance; exhaustion and the likes are passing clouds that look pale a moment and seem full of silver lining the next. The endless stream of employees trying to make life look larger, trendier, more informal, somewhat serious and a whole lot more than what one is needed for and asked to do is largely obvious. Iam one of those faces.A consciously corporate tight fit in, who takes time out to feel the real life and live simply as a free thinking and writing soul. Today is a day off from the maddening traffic mayhem, suffocating pollution and tight time schedule. My day of restimg my restlessness is quite the break to begin the next week ahead.

Self showcase.

Are you scared of being free from past worries? Does it unsettle you more often than not to emerge the real person that you are supposed to be and that you have stepped up, one experience after the other, to be truly you? Join the club, as I too am close to feeling found and about to be recreated. These jitters that smudge the routes into future are many to one. The trick is not to lose oneself there, but gather ground one step at a time, stay tuned to the existing situations spinning around, gain momentum and keep walking.The spins will whither themselves out, as you enter a bigger, wider circle of changing reality. The truth as you see it sets you wholly free-from who you were to who you are supposed to be. A picture that stands tall as a memory and the many images that slide shows this change in you is worth living for.

Lone heroes

Being a single child of a Single parent is a far cry from the popular belief that their every need is given an attention unto detail. Their every wish, the parent's command. Being lone heroes is no small job either. It can be made simpler, with ample time economy and assured in small reminders to the parent concerned, that one cannot hold reins to two lives at a time. That letting go of their child (Son/daughter) to the life he/she desires to recreate makes them reliable in their own, while securing confidence from their creator. The healthy divide that ensues from this freedom is wholesome and binding. Each to their own, despite a common grief of losing a partner and a parent; coming together through moments of loss as a family,as a friend, as a guide and as a philosopher, makes the single parent-single child relationship multi faceted. While material wish list of their child/children have been possessed and fulfilled by hard working single parents across various Indian social classes, getting too worked up over their singledom, blaming the world for their loneliness and expecting that their child fills the void, without disappointing and hurting them, makes it a nightmare that the son/daughter will never wish for. Life never stops for those who've lost their life partner. While the bliss of married company 'happily ever after' may not exist, the practical insights of survival, if one invests in their life, will be self empowering as well as a unique learning experience for the child, that no material happiness can buy.