Enmeshment

Enmeshment is a soul sucking phenomenon where the essence of one person gets stuck on the conditioning of the others and hence the 'need' for sustaining this enmeshment as a way of being conditioned and being limited and assuming that that's the truth for oneself is what is called enmeshment - it's like one is nt clear on where one ends and where another person begins. It's a dangerously thin line of selfhood that one has weakly created or drawn only to be surrounded by the otherness of the other person who he/she is enmeshed with.

Self without an idea of the self is like contradicting oneself and living an abstract sense of life where things feel almost real but not quite so. 

Enmeshment is not connectivity with oneself even though aspects of living like earning, nurturing oneself, taking care of family, building on learning and skills, networking with people are felt like they are done but by being disconnected with one's true essence and drawing on energy to facilitate all the above functions through the other and thereby staying enmeshed and not secure as it supposedly feels.

It is in other words practicing staying absorbed with oneself at the cost of not being aware of what it feels being authentic expressing, sharing, and demonstrating life in action in whatever way that be. Living away from oneself is not a great place to be and to expect that others understand and empathize this hollowness of oneself is attracting more misunderstanding than the opposite. 

So, self destructive is also owing to being enmeshed with another person in thought, belief, and even actions at the cost of minimizing one's boundaries, second guessing one's decision making, and getting anxious to take responsibility for oneself, and ultimately stay unconscious of who one is within one's body and mind which is numbing oneself in other words substantially.

 Dark energies are not from outside as much as one makes space for repressing oneself, second guessing one's decisions, feeling anxious and sad for not being able to express and create one's organic version of who he/she is from within. It's not acknowledging that the darkness exists and learning to get comfortable to lying to oneself that the unconsciousness of one's existence and living doesn't hurt one's feelings - in short it's losing one's personal integrity in order to be an ideal package in the eyes of others.

Where there is ignorance about knowing oneself and why they have blocked themselves from feeling hurt, and that's where the shadows outgrow the person's true purpose of living and that is to discover oneself in complete honesty and integrity. Ego can do only so much but depending a lot on it to make one feel secure, accepted, and understood is allowing for being insensitive to oneself and arrogant with others as ego just projects what you want to be but who you are not deep down and helps to fool oneself longer living the ego.